After being surrounded by Blue Apron ads on the CTA, I couldn’t take it anymore so I caved in and decided to try it once.
Now, these ads are fancy as shit. They are all about heirloom products or fresh noodles or local sourcing, so I figured I should be ready to Google half their instructions. This wasn’t helped by an email I got explaining that they were sending snow peas instead of English peas this week, because who the hell knows the difference?
When I finally got the box, I felt a lot better, because this was on top:
It’s arugula! That shit is everywhere!
And then I read the actual instructions and realized that the target demographic for this kind of stuff is people who feel morally obligated to cook once in a while, but not to a) find recipes online or b) go to the grocery store themselves, and who were also probably raised in a household where potatoes or broccoli are the daily vegetable.
So, anyway, I’m pretty sure this pasta thing is going to be delicious although it could use about seventy more cloves of garlic, but the one thing you guys should know is there’s a much easier way to zest a lemon than the thing says.
Step 1: find your grater. This is going to be tricky because you probably haven’t used it in weeks.
This is not a grater.
Step 2: wash your citrus fruit with soap and water.
Step 3: grate gently on the small side. Pith is rumored to taste like ass, so I err on less, ending with something like this: